


Jus in Bello (3.12)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [57]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Related, Demon Ruby, Episode: s03e12 Jus In Bello, Lilith Being an Asshole, Ruby (Katie Cassidy), Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 05:06:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7787797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>STD Agent Henricksen finally captures Sam n' Dean yo, but is caught up in tha middle when a horde of demons descendz on tha small-town jail ta eliminizzle tha brothers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

DAY, MONUMENT, COLORADO.

SAM rushes tha fuck into a funky-ass bedroom. DEAN bigs up n' shuts tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They search tha room. DEAN checks tha drawers, while SAM checks tha safe.

 **DEAN  
** Any sign of it?

 **SAM  
** Nothing. Is you shizzle dis is Bela’s room, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** (Holdz up two wigs n' shows dem ta SAM) I’d say so.

Suddenly tha beeper rings n' they share a look. DEAN strutts ta tha beeper n' looks at SAM whoz ass shakes his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN picks up tha beeper n' lyrics it cautiously. It’s BELA, whoz ass is callin from her car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **BELA  
** Dean, biatch? Sweetie, is you there?

 **DEAN  
** Where is yo slick ass?

 **BELA  
** Two states away by now, nahmeean?

 **DEAN  
** Where?

 **BELA  
** Where’s our usual quippy banter, biatch? I miss dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** I want it back, Bela… now, nahmeean?

 **BELA  
** Yo crazy-ass lil pistol, you mean, biatch? (Looks all up in tha Colt on tha seat next ta her) Sorry, I can’t all up in tha moment.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass KNOW how tha fuck nuff playas is gonna take a thugged-out dirtnap if you do this?

 **BELA  
** What exactly is it dat you be thinkin I plan ta do wit it?

 **DEAN  
** Take tha only weapon our crazy asses have against a army of demons n' push it ta tha highest bidder.

 **BELA  
** Yo ass know not a god damn thang bout mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** I know I’m gonna stop you, biatch.

 **BELA  
** Tough lyrics fo' a muthafucka whoz ass can’t even find mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, I’ll find you, dopeheart. Yo ass know why, biatch? Because I have straight-up not a god damn thang betta ta do than ta track you down.

 **BELA  
** That’s where you’re wrong. You’re bout ta be like occupied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (DEAN looks at SAM) Did yo dirty ass straight-up be thinkin I wouldn’t take precautions, biatch?

Suddenly five-o fools burst tha fuck into BELA’s room n' point glocks at SAM n' DEAN. They both raise they handz above they heads.

 **POLICE OFFICER 1  
** Handz up in tha air!

 **POLICE OFFICER 2  
** Down on yo' knees.

BELA hangs up tha beeper n' sighs up in relief.

 **DEAN  
** That biiiatch!

 **POLICE OFFICER 1  
** Turn around hommie! Now!

Da POLICE OFFICERS force DEAN n' SAM ta lie down on tha floor.

 **POLICE OFFICER 1  
** Sam n' Dean Winchester, you have tha right ta remain silent.

SAM n' DEAN peep feet come closer n' shit. They peep each other, then up.

 **POLICE OFFICER 1  
** Anythang you say can n' is ghon be used against you up in a cold-ass lil court of law. Yo ass have tha right ta drop a rhyme ta a attorney n' have a attorney present durin any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one is ghon be appointed fo' you at posse expense.

DEAN n' SAM look up ta peep Agent HENRIKSEN.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Yo muthafuckas… It’s been a while.

DEAN n' SAM peep each other n' shit. DEAN closes his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' lays his head down on tha floor.


	2. ACT ONE

DAY: POLICE STATION yo. HENRIKSEN talks ta tha police.

 **MELVIN  
** So did you git them?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Where is everyone, biatch? I axed fo' all yo' men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **MELVIN  
** And you gots dem wild-ass muthafuckas. They want wit you on tha raid.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Four men, biatch? That’s all?

 **MELVIN  
** Everyone I could drum up wit a hour’s notice. We’re a lil' small-ass town, Agent Henriksen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

HENRIKSEN strutts towardz tha holdin cells yo. Dude sees a playa chillin up in tha straight-up original gangsta one.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What’s he up in for?

 **PHIL  
** Drunk n' disorderly.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Keys. (PHIL n' MELVIN peep HENRIKSEN up in disbelief) Now.

PHIL reaches fo' tha key up in his thugged-out lil' pocket n' gives it ta HENRIKSEN.

 **MELVIN  
** What is you bustin?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (Opens tha cell n' taps tha chillin playa on tha back) It be yo' dirty night, sir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Yo ass is free ta bounce tha fuck out.

 **MELVIN  
** What tha hell is you bustin?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (Lifts up tha man) This way. (Takes tha playa outta tha cell n' gives his ass ta PHIL)

 **MELVIN  
** Agent Henriksen, you can’t just release mah prisoners. (HENRIKSEN strutts away) Agent Henriksen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Look, I git it… you’re Mayberry P.D.

 **MELVIN  
** Excuse me son?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** And dis isn’t how tha fuck I’d do it if I had mah chizzle. But a tip’s a tip n' our crazy asses had ta move fast. (Walks back ta tha office)

 **MELVIN  
** Look, Agent, dis ain’t mah first rodeo.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** You’ve never been ta a rodeo like dis before. Yo ass have any scam whoz ass we’re bout ta brang up in here, biatch?

 **MELVIN  
** Yeah, a cold-ass lil couple fugitives.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Da most fucked up criminals you’ve eva laid yo' eyeballs on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Think Hannibal Lecta n' his half-wit lil brutha n' shit. Do you know what tha fuck these muthafuckas do fo' kicks, biatch? Dig up graves n' mutilate corpses. They’re not just killers, Sheriff. They’re Satan-worshipping, nutbag killers.

NANCY, tha secretary, is silently listenin ta HENRIKSEN n' dat freaky freaky biatch holdz tha cross pendant dat biiiiatch wears round her neck.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** So work wit me here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I’ll git dem up yo' afro n' on they way ta Supermax n' you’ll be home up in enough time ta peep da barn report.

 **MELVIN  
** (Nods) However we can help.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (Comes closer) Those pimpz of yours… post dem all up in tha exits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

 **MELVIN  
** Yes yes y'all, sir.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (Talks tha fuck into his struttie) Reidy?

 **REIDY (V.O.)  
** Yeah, Vic?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Brin dem in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (NANCY looks at HENRIKSEN) I guess we’re locked n loaded as we’re gonna be.

Doors open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is hustled in, shackled together by a cold-ass lil chain n' guarded by two fools.

 **DEAN  
** Why all tha sourpusses, biatch? (Smiles)

SAM looks all up in tha name plate on NANCYz desk, which readz "NANCY FITZGERALD, Secretary". NANCY looks afraid n' grabs her rosary.

 **REIDY  
** I’ll show you ta tha cells.

REIDY grabs DEANz arm.

 **DEAN  
** Yo dawwwwg! Yo dawwwwg! Watch tha merchandise!

NANCY’s eyes follow them, trippin like a muthafucka.

 **DEAN  
** We’re not tha ones you should be scared of, Nancy.

NANCY looks at her rosary n' holdz dat shit.

PRISON CELL: DEAN n' SAM is brought ta they cell. Da five-o leave dem ridin' solo. DEAN headz fo' tha bed n' SAM ta tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They both almost fall cuz of tha chain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Dean, come on!

 **DEAN  
** All right, all right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sit?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

They awkwardly strutt round each other n' end up chillin on tha bed.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck we gonna Houdini outta dis one?

 **SAM  
** Dope question.

IN THE OFFICE: HENRIKSEN cook up a funky-ass beeper call n' loosens his bullet-proof vest.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** It’s mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Steven in, biatch? (Pause) Well git his ass outta tha meeting. (HENRIKSEN looks at MELVIN whoz ass watches him)

STD OFFICE: Wanted postas fo' DEAN n' SAM is hangin up in tha wall.

 **STEVEN  
** Groves.

 **HENRIKSEN V.O.  
** I’ve gots dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **STEVEN  
** Well, I’ll be damned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (Dude opens his Winchesta case file) I was bettin on yo' headstone readin “Couldn’t catch tha Winchesta thugs.”

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Well, they’ll be at Supermax by morning.

 **STEVEN  
** How, biatch?

 **HENRIKSEN V.O.  
** Armored bus, loaded wit men. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **STEVEN  
** A bus, biatch? What, is you tryin ta give me another ulcer?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Look, we’re takin every last muthafuckin precaution. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **STEVEN V.O.  
** Screw dis shit. I’m bustin a cold-ass lil chopper.

 **STEVEN  
** Like tha last time, biatch? And tha time before that, biatch?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Whatever you be thinkin is best.

 **STEVEN  
** Damn right, n' I’ll be on dat shit. I can’t take you losin dem thugs again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They done been a primary thorn up in mah ass fo' months. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So Victor…

 **HENRIKSEN V.O.  
** Yeah?

 **STEVEN  
** Glue yo' eyeballs ta dem till I git there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (hangs up tha beeper n' addresses MELVIN) There’s a cold-ass lil chopper on its way.

 **MELVIN  
** But our phat asses don’t gotz a helicopta pad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Then clear tha damn parkin lot.

CELL: DEAN looks at HENRIKSEN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM glances at HENRIKSEN, then away.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck I’m tryin ta decide, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** I don’t know. What, biatch? Whether Cialis will help you wit yo' lil condition?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What ta have fo' dinner tonight. (SAM looks at him) Steak or lobster, what tha fuck tha hell, surf n' turf. (DEAN smirks cynically) I gots a shitload ta celebrate. I mean, afta all, seein you two up in chains…

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass kinky lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch. Us dudes don’t swin dat way.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Now, that’s funky.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, I wouldn’t bust up tha melted butta just yet. Couldn’t catch our asses all up in tha bank, couldn’t keep our asses up in dat jail.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** You’re right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Screwed up. I underestimated you, biatch. I didn’t count on you bein dat smart-ass but now I’m ready.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, locked n loaded ta lose our asses again?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Locked N Loaded like a cold-ass lil court order ta keep you up in a Supermaximum prison up in Nevada till trial. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Locked N Loaded like isolation up in a soundproof, windowless cell, so dat between you n' me… probably unconstipational. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack.

SAM n' DEAN realize HENRIKSEN is straight-up n shit.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** How’s dat fo' ready, biatch?

DEAN don’t say anything.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Take a phat peep Sam- you two aint NEVER gonna peep each other again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

SAM n' DEAN peep HENRIKSEN, disconcerted.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Aw. Where’s dat smug smile, Dean, biatch? I wanna peep dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** (Shakes his head, disbelief) Yo ass gots tha wack muthafuckas.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Oh, yeah. I forgot. Yo ass fight monsters. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Truth is, yo' daddy domewashed you wit all dat devil rap n' no diggity touched you up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass place. That’s all. That’s reality.

 **DEAN  
** Why don’t you shut yo' grill?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Well, guess what. Life sucks. Git a helmet. ‘Cause everybody’s gots a sob story. But not dem hoes becomes a killer.

Da sound of a helicopta approachin is heard.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** And now I have two less ta worry about.

HENRIKSEN looks at his thugged-out lil' peep n' smiles.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Mm. (tappin his watch) It’s surf n' turf time. (Laughs)

SAM n' DEAN peep HENRIKSEN muthafuckin bounce. They both look stressed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

OFFICE: Agent STEVEN GROVES comes inside tha crib n' HENRIKSEN holdz up his hand.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Steven!

 **STEVEN  
** Gentlemen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (Instead of bobbin HENRIKSENz hand, dat schmoooove muthafucka handz HENRIKSEN some files)

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (Confused) What’s all this?

 **STEVEN  
** What can I say, biatch? Da STD didn’t invent bureaucracy; we perfected dat shit.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Yo ass want me ta do all dis now?

 **STEVEN  
** (smiles) Sorry. Now, Victor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

NANCY smiles.

 **STEVEN  
** I’m gonna go take a phat long gander at our fugitives.

STEVEN leaves HENRIKSEN ta finish tha paperwork. REIDY gives HENRIKSEN a pen n' HENRIKSEN starts ta fill up tha forms, annoyed.

 

**CELLS**

STEVEN entas tha holdin cell area n' closes tha main door ta tha crib area. DEAN standz up n' looks at STEVEN.

 **STEVEN  
** Sam n' Dean Winchesta n' shit. I’m Deputy Director Steven Groves. This be a pleasure.

 **DEAN  
** Well, glad one of our asses feels dat way.

 **STEVEN  
** I’ve been waitin a long-ass time fo' you two ta come outta tha woodwork.

Suddenly STEVEN points his wild lil' freakadelic glock n' blasts DEAN up in his fuckin left shoulder n' shit. DEAN’s blood sprays ta tha wall. DEAN grunts n' falls back, while SAM jumps up n' grapplez wit STEVEN all up in tha bars. DEAN falls on tha bed as STEVEN fires nuff muthafuckin mo' shots, narrowly missin DEAN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM has a grip on STEVEN, holdin his wild lil' freakadelic glock arm. STEVEN’s eyes turn black n' SAM begins a exorcizzle up in Latin, which causes STEVENz head ta whip from side ta side.

 **STEVEN  
** Sorry, I've gotta cut dis short. It’s gonna be a long-ass night, fellas.

DEAN sits up, clutchin his shoulder, as tha demon leaves STEVENz body, screaming, n' tha black smoke disappears tha fuck into tha ceilin air vent.

OFFICE: HENRIKSEN n' REIDY hear STEVEN’s scream.

 **REIDY  
** What tha hell was that?

Both of dem run ta tha cells.

CELLS: STEVEN falls ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! PHIL n' MELVIN enter, followed by HENRIKSEN, whoz ass points his wild lil' freakadelic glock at SAM.

 **MELVIN  
** All right, put tha glock down!

 **SAM  
** Wait. Okay. Wait.

 **MELVIN  
** Dude blasted him!

 **SAM  
** I didn’t blast him, aiiight. I didn’t blast mah playas.

 **DEAN  
** Dude blasted me!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Git on yo' knees, NOW!

 **SAM  
** Okay, aiiight, aiiight. Don’t blast. Please. Look yo. Here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho yo. Here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. (SAM passes tha glock all up in tha bars) Look. Us dudes didn’t blast his muthafuckin ass. Peep tha body. There’s no blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Us dudes did not bust a cap up in his muthafuckin ass. Go ahead, check his muthafuckin ass.

REIDY checks STEVEN’s body.

 **REIDY  
** Vic, there’s no cap wound.

 **DEAN  
** He’s probably been dead fo' months.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What did you do ta him?

 **DEAN  
** Us dudes didn’t do anything.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Talk or I blast.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass won’t believe us.

 **SAM  
** Dude was possessed.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Possessed, biatch? Right. Fire up tha chopper playa! We’re takin dem outta here now, nahmeean?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah! Do that!

 **REIDY  
** Bizzle, biatch? (static on tha other end of tha struttie-talkie) Bizzle, is you there, biatch?

There’s no answer from tha struttie yo. HENRIKSEN nodz ta REIDY ta check outside. MELVIN n' PHIL continue ta point they glocks at SAM n' DEAN.

NIGHT: OUTSIDE, REIDY discovers two fools whose throats done been cut yo. Dude strutts ta tha chopper n' shit. Da pilot n' two mo' fools is dead as fuckin fried chicken.

 **REIDY  
** (into struttie) They’re dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be thinkin they’re all dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Suddenly there’s a funky-ass blast of light. REIDY yells n' is flung backwards.

 _INSIDE_ : CELL.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What tha hell was that, biatch? Reidy, biatch? Reidy?!

 _OUTSIDE_ : Da chopper is on fire. REIDY coughs n' sits up yo. HENRIKSEN’s voice is heard from tha struttie talkie.

 **HENRIKSEN V.O.  
** What tha hell was that, biatch? Come in, biatch? Reidy, biatch? Reidy?

REIDY strutts toward tha burned chopper n' shiznit yo. Dude turns ta find one of tha dead fools on his wild lil' feet n' lookin at his ass wit black eyes. Da possessed fool crushes REIDYz flesh. REIDY screams.


	3. ACT TWO

OFFICE: MELVIN fills his bangin rifle wit bullets while NANCY tries ta cook up a cold-ass lil call.

 **NANCY  
** Hello, biatch? (NANCY keeps tryin ta git a line.)

 **MELVIN  
** My fuckin men, biatch? Agent Henriksen- (HENRIKSEN don’t answer.)

 **PHIL  
** What tha hell’s goin' down up there?

 **NANCY  
** I can’t git a line fo' realz. All tha phones is out.

 **MELVIN  
** Henriksen! Four of mah men!

 **NANCY  
** Da Internet, mah cell…. It’s all dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. How tha fuck can all dat shiznit be dead?

MELVIN tosses tha rifle ta PHIL. Suddenly tha lights go out.

CELL: SAM n' DEAN stand up.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, dat can’t be good.

BACK TO OFFICE:

 **NANCY  
** Oh mah Dogg.

 **MELVIN  
** Fuck dat shit, it’s all gravy, it’s all gravy, it’s all gravy. We’re gonna go, we’re gonna go… n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. (Dude loadz his wild lil' freakadelic gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. HENRIKSEN turns around.)

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Nobody’s goin anywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. All Y'all quit trippin' out.

 **MELVIN  
** Yo crazy-ass partner is up there biaaatch! My fuckin pimps is up there!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** I know. We go up there, we’re askin ta take a thugged-out dirtnap like a muthafucka. Don’t you git it?

 **MELVIN  
** Git what?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** They’re up there n' they’re comin up in here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. This be a siege. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So dis might be a phat time fo' you ta lock tha doors n' tha windows (NANCY looks up, panicking), take a funky-ass breath, n' maybe deal wit dis like trained professionals wit some sense up in they heads.

PHIL n' MELVIN peep each other n' quit trippin' out. MELVIN nodz n' leaves yo. HENRIKSEN strutts ta NANCY.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Yo ass aiiight?

NACNY nodz but then shakes her head.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** I wouldn’t be thinkin so. Nancy, right, biatch? I’m gonna git you all up in all dis bullshit. Yo ass gots mah word. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass gots that, biatch?

NANCY smilez tearfully n' nods.

CUT ta CELL: SAM helps DEAN wit his wound, while DEAN grunts.

 **SAM  
** All right, don’t be such a wuss.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What’s tha plan, biatch? Bust a cap up in mah playas up in tha station, bust you two out?

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell is you poppin' off about?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** I’m poppin' off bout yo' psycho playas. I’m poppin' off on some funky-ass blood bath.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, I promise you- whoever’s up there, biatch? aint here ta help us.

 **SAM  
** Look, you gots ta believe us. Everyone here is up in shitty dark shiznit n' shit.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Yo ass think?

 **DEAN  
** Why don’t you let our asses outta here so we can save yo' asses?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** From what, biatch? (pause, while Sam n' Dean look away) Yo ass gonna say “demons”, biatch? (Raises his wild lil' freakadelic gun, pointed all up in tha ceiling, fo' emphasis) Don’t you dare say “demons”. Let me rap something. Yo ass should be a shitload mo' scared of mah dirty ass. (Dude leaves.)

 **SAM  
** How’s tha shoulder?

 **DEAN  
** (Takes away a pad of toilet paper wit a big-ass blood stain on it) It’s phat. (Tosses away tha pad) I’ll live. Yo ass know, if we git outta here kickin dat shit, yo. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you gots a plan?

SAM checks DEAN’s exit wound on tha back of his shoulder as DEAN grimaces up in pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN realizes dat NANCY is peekin round a cold-ass lil corner outside tha bars.

 **DEAN  
** (quietly ta SAM) Hey.

 **SAM  
** Hey…

NANCY backs off, trippin like a muthafucka.

 **SAM  
** Yo, uh,. Biiiatch please. Please. We need yo' help. It’s… it’s Nancy. Nancy, right, biatch? (NANCY just looks at SAM) Nancy, my… mah brother’s been blasted yo. He’s… He’s bleedin straight-up bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass be thinkin maybe you could git our asses a towel, biatch? Please, biatch? Just one clean towel, biatch? (NANCY’s not shizzle n' still a lil' bit afraid) Look. Look at us. We’re not tha shitty muthafuckas. I swear. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

DEAN gives NANCY a smile n' she leaves dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM sighs.

 **DEAN  
** Sick try.

SAM sighs again, then turns round n' sees dat NANCY has come back wit a cold-ass lil clean towel.

 **SAM  
** Nuff props, biatch.

NANCY comes closer ta tha thugs, carefully.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. (Dude holdz up his handcuffed hands)

NANCY puts tha towel inside tha bars while SAM smilez at her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch smilez back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly SAM grabs NANCY’s arm n' drags her against tha bars. NANCY screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. PHIL runs up in wit his bangin rifle.

 **PHIL  
** Let her go! Let her go!

SAM lets Nancy go. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch backs away, trippin like a muthafucka.

 **PHIL  
** (Point tha glock at SAM) You’re aiiight, Nance, biatch? (Looks at SAM) Try suttin' again, git blasted fo' realz. And not up in tha arm.

 **SAM  
** Okay.

PHIL n' NANCY strutt away fo' realz. Afta they leave, DEAN hits SAM up in tha arm.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell was that?

SAM holdz up NANCY’s rosary. DEAN chucklez softly.

 

**LATER**

DEAN is pressin tha towel ta his wound, chillin on tha bed next ta SAM.

 **SAM  
** We’re like chillin ducks up in dis biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, I know. Would it bust a cap up in these cops ta BRING US A SNACK?! (Dude shouts tha last lyrics)

 **SAM  
** How tha fuck nuff you figure is up there?

 **DEAN  
** I don’t know.

 **SAM  
** However nuff they are, they could be possessin mah playas fo' realz. Every Muthafucka could just strutt right in.

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but kind of wild, right, biatch? I mean it’s like they’re comin fo' us. They’ve never done dat before. (DEAN smiles) It’s like we gots a cold-ass lil contract on us. Think it’s cuz we’re so phat, biatch? I be thinkin it’s ‘cause we’re so phat. (Dude smilez again yo, but stops smilin afta SAM looks at him, unamused)

MELVIN comes up in n' unlocks they cell.

 **DEAN  
** Well, howdy, there, sheriff.

DEAN n' SAM stand up while MELVIN opens tha cell door.

 **SAM  
** Uh, sheriff?

 **MELVIN  
** It’s time ta go, thugs.

DEAN n' SAM step back as MELVIN comes tha fuck into tha cell.

 **DEAN  
** Uh… you know what, biatch? We’re- we're just comfy right here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. But fuck you, biatch.

HENRIKSEN appears all up in tha door of tha cell.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What do you be thinkin you’re bustin?

 **MELVIN  
** We’re not just gonna sit round here n' wait ta take a thugged-out dirt nap. We’re gonna cook up a run fo' dat shit.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** It’s less thuggy here.

 **MELVIN  
** There’s a SWAT facilitizzle up in Boulder.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (Comes inside tha cell) We’re not goin anywhere.

 **MELVIN  
** Da hell we’re not.

HENRIKSEN shots MELVIN up in tha head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN n' SAM grapple wit HENRIKSEN n' SAM pushes HENRIKSEN’s head tha fuck into tha toilet n' begins a exorcism. PHIL runs round tha corner wit his bangin rifle. DEAN points HENRIKSEN’s glock at his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Stay back!

HENRIKSEN lifts his head up outta tha gin n juice n' shiznit yo. His grill is burnin n' he yells. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM shoves his ass back tha fuck into tha toilet bowl, up in which NANCY’s rosary is floating. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM continues tha exorcism. NANCY comes round tha corner.

 **DEAN  
** (to SAM) Hurry up!

HENRIKSEN lifts his head again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. His eyes is black.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** It’s too late. I already called dem wild-ass muthafuckas. They’re already coming.

SAM shoves his ass back tha fuck into tha wata n' finishes tha exorcizzle yo. HENRIKSEN screams as black smoke blasts outta his crazy-ass grill n' up ta tha air vent up in tha ceiling.

HENRIKSEN falls ta tha floor as SAM breathes heavily.

 **NANCY  
** Is he… is da ruffneck dead?

HENRIKSEN regains consciousnizz n' coughs.

 **SAM  
** Henriksen! Hey. Is dat you up in there, biatch?

HENRIKSEN gets up n' sits on tha bed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** I… I blasted tha sheriff.

 **DEAN  
** (smilez afta a pause) But you didn't blast tha deputy.

SAM glares at DEAN up in disbelief.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Five minutes ago, I was fine, n' then…

 **DEAN  
** Let me guess. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some nasty black smoke jammed itself down yo' throat?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass was possessed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Possessed, like… possessed, biatch?

 **SAM  
** That’s what tha fuck it feels like. Now you know.

 **DEAN  
** I owe tha freshest “I holla'd at you so” eva n' shit. (Dude gives HENRIKSEN back his wild lil' freakadelic gun.)

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Officer Amici. (Standz up n' addresses PHIL) Keys...

PHIL gives HENRIKSEN tha keys. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN’s chains fall ta tha floor.

 **HENRIKSSEN  
** All right, so how tha fuck do we survive?

NIGHT- OFFICE: SAM draws a thugged-out devil’s trap on tha floor wit spray paint. DEAN looks all up in tha floor plans ta tha five-o station, on which two devil’s traps is drawn, while NANCY takes care of his wound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! PHIL n' HENRIKSEN prepare guns.

 **DEAN  
** Well, that’s sick. It’s not gonna do much good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg!

 **PHIL  
** We gots a arsenal here.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass don’t poke a funky-ass bear wit BB gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. That’s just gonna make dem mad.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** What do you need?

 **DEAN  
** Salt. Lots n' fuckin shitloadz of salt.

 **PHIL  
** Salt?

 **DEAN  
** What, is there a echo up in here, biatch?

 **NANCY  
** There’s road salt up in tha storeroom.

 **DEAN  
** Perfect. Perfect. We need salt at every last muthafuckin window n' every last muthafuckin door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

HENRIKSEN n' PHIL muthafuckin bounce.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck you holdin’ up, Nancy?

 **NANCY  
** Okay. (pause) When I was lil, I would come home from tha church n' start ta rap bout tha devil fo' realz. And mah muthafathas would tell me ta stop bein so literal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. I guess I flossed them, huh, biatch? (Addz a last piece of tape ta DEAN’s bandage) That should hold.

 **DEAN  
** Nuff props, biatch.

 **NANCY  
** Sure.

PHIL comes up in wit bagz of salt.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, wherez mah car?

 **PHIL  
** Impound lot up back.

 **DEAN  
** Okay.

 **PHIL  
** Wait. (DEAN looks at him) You’re not goin up there, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, I gots ta git suttin' outta mah trunk.

**_NIGHT- IMPOUND LOT_ **

DEAN opens tha gate ta tha impound lot, then tha trunk of tha Impala yo. Dude starts puttin thangs tha fuck into a funky-ass bag. Da lights at a gas station flicker n' thick black smoke interspersed wit blue lightenin races past. Da lights up in tha impound lot flicker n' crackle. DEAN grabs some dreamcatcher-like amulets n' turns ta peep tha black smoke n' blue n' pink light comin towardz his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude runs back inside as tha smoke comes closer.


	4. ACT THREE

INSIDE POLICE STATION: SAM is drawin a thugged-out devil’s trap on tha floor wit spray paint while tha others line tha windows wit salt. DEAN rushes inside.

 **DEAN  
** They’re coming! Hurry.

Black smoke hits tha window dat NANCY be at, n' her big-ass booty screams. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. NANCY, SAM n' DEAN run ta tha main crib area, where HENRIKSEN is. DEAN tosses a glock ta SAM. From tha outside, we can peep tha demon smoke hit tha building. From tha inside of tha building, we peep tha smoke surround tha windows. Da lights up in tha main room flicker n' it becomes darker n' shit. From tha outside, we peep tha smoke engulfin tha building. NANCY clutches tha cross dat biiiiatch wears round her neck. Dust rains down from tha ceilin as tha buildin shakes. Then tha smoke seems ta disappear n' it becomes on tha down-low again.

 **SAM  
** All Y'all aiiight?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Define “okay”.

 **DEAN  
** All right, dem hoes need ta put these on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (Gives each of dem a protection necklace) They’ll keep you from bein possessed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There you go.

 **NANCY  
** What bout you n' Sam?

DEAN n' SAM show they matchin protection symbol tattoos on they chests, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Smart yo. How tha fuck long you had them, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Not long enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce.

CUT TO: HENRIKSEN looks at MELVIN’s name plate, while DEAN watches his muthafuckin ass. NANCY is organizin some filez when her big-ass booty sees a cold-ass lil crowd of playas outside.

 **NANCY  
** Yo, that’s Jenna Rubner n' shit.

We peep a cold-ass lil close-up of a biatch wit long red afro n' black eyes.

 **SAM  
** That’s not Jenna no mo'.

 **NANCY  
** That’s where all dat black demon smoke went, biatch?

 **SAM  
** Looks like.

CUT TO: PHIL is up in another room. Dude grabs a cold-ass lil chair n' standz on it ta look up a window, which da thug wipes wit his hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When he leaves, we peep dat tha salt line is broken.

BACK TO: MAIN OFFICE.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Shotgun shells full of salt.

 **DEAN  
** (Fillin his shotgun) Whatever works.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Fightin off monstas wit condiments, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. (Dude takes off his cold-ass tie) So. Turns up demons is real. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. (Dude starts fillin his bangin rifle wit salt shells)

 **DEAN  
** FYI, pimps is real like a muthafucka. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So is werewolves, vampires, chizzlelings, evil clowns dat smoke people.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Okay then.

 **DEAN  
** If it make you feel better, Bigfoot’s a hoax. (Dude smiles)

 **HENRIKSEN  
** It don’t yo. How tha fuck nuff demons, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Total, biatch? No clue fo' realz. A lot.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck mah thang is?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass mean besides lockin up tha phat muthafuckas, biatch? (Walks over ta HENRIKSEN) I have no idea.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** My fuckin thang is boring, it’s frustrating. Yo ass work three muthafuckin years fo' one break, n' then maybe you can save ... all dem people. Maybe. That’s tha payoff. I’ve been bustin mah ass fo' 15 muthafuckin years ta nail a handful of muthafuckas n' all dis while, there’s suttin' off up in tha corner so big. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So yeah… sign me up fo' dat big, frosty mug of wastin mah damn game.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass didn't give a fuck.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Now I do. (Pause) What’s up there, biatch? Yo ass betta muthafuckas beat it, biatch? Yo ass betta win?

 **DEAN  
** Honestly, biatch? I be thinkin tha ghetto’s gonna end bloody. But it don’t mean we shouldn’t fight. Us dudes do have chizzles. I chizzle ta go down swingin’.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Plus you gots not a god damn thang ta bounce back ta tha doggy den ta but yo' brutha n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. (nods) What bout yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass rockin’ tha white picket fence, biatch?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Mmm-mm. Empty crib, strang of mad salty ex-wives. I’m right where yo ass is. (chuckles)

 **DEAN  
** Imagine dis shit.

There be a cold-ass lil crash n' DEAN n' HENRIKSEN run tha fuck into tha crib where PHIL broke tha salt line, followed by SAM fo' realz. A biatch has fucked up in.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** (pointin his bangin rifle) How tha fuck do we bust a cap up in her?

 **SAM  
** Us dudes don’t. (Dude lowers HENRIKSEN’s rifle)

 **HENRIKSEN  
** She’s a thugged-out demon.

 **SAM  
** She’s here ta help us.

PHIL n' NANCY is now lookin round tha corner.

 **PHIL  
** Is you kidding?

RUBY is standin near tha window, breathang heavily. DEAN sighs up in exasperation.

 **RUBY  
** Is you gonna let me out?

HENRIKSEN looks at DEAN. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM scratches tha devil’s trap on tha floor wit his knife so RUBY can git in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **RUBY  
** And they say chivalry’s dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Do mah playas gotz a funky-ass breath mint, biatch? Some guts splattered up in mah grill while I was cappin' mah way up in here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

RUBY strutts past mah playas tha fuck into tha main crib. DEAN n' HENRIKSEN follow her, while SAM stays ta fix tha salt line.

BACK TO: OFFICE

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck nuff is up there?

 **RUBY  
** 30 at least. That’s so far. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **DEAN  
** Oh, good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! 30. 30 hit pimps all gunnin fo' us. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck busted them?

RUBY looks at SAM, whoz ass is now standin up in tha doorway.

 **RUBY  
** Yo ass didn’t tell Dean?

DEAN looks at SAM, confused.

 **RUBY  
** Oh, I’m surprised. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

 **DEAN  
** Tell me what?

 **RUBY  
** There’s a funky-ass big-ass freshly smoked up n' corner n' shit. Real pied piper.

 **DEAN  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is he?

 **RUBY  
** Not he yo. Her n' shiznit yo. Her name is Lilith.

 **DEAN  
** Lilith?

 **RUBY  
** And she straight-up, straight-up wants Sam’s intestines on a stick. ‘Cause her big-ass booty sees his ass as competition. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass knew bout this, biatch? (SAM don’t answer) Well, gee, Sam. Is there anythang else I should know?!

 **RUBY  
** How tha fuck bout tha two of y'all rap bout dis later, biatch? We’ll need tha Colt. (RUBY looks at SAM, whoz ass don’t hook up her eyes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch looks at DEAN) Where’s tha Colt?

 **SAM  
** It gots jacked.

 **RUBY  
** I’m sorry bout dat bullshit. I must have blood up in mah ear.. n' you KNOWS I just heard you say dat you was wack enough ta let tha Colt git grabbed outta yo' thick, clumsy, idiotic hands. Dunkadelic. This is just peachy…

 **SAM  
** Ruby…

 **RUBY  
** Shut up. (Bitch raises her hand) Fine. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Since I don’t peep dat there’s no other any option. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There’s one other way I know how tha fuck ta git you outta here kickin dat shit, yo.

 **DEAN  
** What’s that?

 **RUBY  
** I know a spell. It’ll vaporize every last muthafuckin demon up in a one-mile radius. Myself included. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So, you let tha Colt outta yo' sight n' now I gotta take a thugged-out dirt nap. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So next time, be mo' careful naaahhmean, biatch? How’s dat fo' a thugged-out dyin wish, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** Okay, what tha fuck do we need ta do?

 **RUBY  
** Aww… you can’t do anything. This spell is straight-up specific. Well shiiiit, it calls fo' a thug of virtue.

 **DEAN  
** (Nods) I gots virtue.

 **RUBY  
** (Chuckles) Sick try. You’re not a virgin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** (Laughs) Nobody’s a virgin.

RUBY looks at DEAN, then at NANCY, whoz ass looks away.

 **DEAN  
** No. No way. You’re kiddin me, r-. You’re…

 **NANCY  
** What, biatch? It’s a cold-ass lil chizzle, aiiight, biatch?

 **DEAN  
** So, y-you’ve never… Not even once, biatch? I mean not even- Wow.

 **NANCY  
** So, dis spell. What can I do, biatch? (Smilez at RUBY)

 **RUBY  
** Yo ass can hold still ... while I cut yo' ass outta yo' chest.

 **NANCY  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? Is you crazy?

 **RUBY  
** I’m offerin a solution. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** You’re offerin ta bust a cap up in some muthafucka.

 **RUBY  
** And what tha fuck do you think’s gonna happen ta dis hoe when tha demons git in?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** We’re gonna protect her n' shit. That’s what.

 **NANCY  
** Excuse mah dirty ass.

 **RUBY  
** Straight-up noble.

 **NANCY  
** Ex- excuse mah dirty ass.

 **RUBY  
** You’re all gonna take a thugged-out dirt nap. Look. This is tha only way.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, yeah. There’s no way dat you’re gonna-

 **NANCY  
** Would dem hoes please shut tha fuck up?! (DEAN n' RUBY peep NANCY) All tha playas up there… will it save them?

 **RUBY  
** It’ll blow tha demons outta they bodies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So if they bodies is aiiight… yeah.

 **NANCY  
** (Long pause, then she nods) I’ll do dat shit.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Hell no.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, no.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Hell no.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass don’t need ta do this.

 **NANCY  
** All mah playaz is up there.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Us dudes don't sacrifice people. Us dudes do that, we’re no betta than dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 **RUBY  
** Us dudes don’t gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, yo' chizzle aint a cold-ass lil chizzle.

 **RUBY  
** Sam, you know I’m right.

DEAN n' RUBY peep SAM, whoz ass is silent.

 **DEAN  
** (Dude smilez slightly up in tha expectation dat SAM will smoke wit him) Sam, biatch? (SAM say nothing) What tha hell is goin on, biatch? Sam, tell her n' shit.

 **NANCY  
** It’s mah decision.

 **RUBY  
** Damn straight, cherry pie.

 **DEAN  
** Stop! Stop! No Muthafucka bust a cap up in any virgins. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam, I need ta rap ta you, biatch.

DEAN strutts tha fuck into tha hallway n' SAM bigs up.

 **DEAN  
** Please tell me you’re not straight-up thankin bout all dis bullshit. We’re poppin' off bout holdin down a hoe n' cuttin up her ass.

 **SAM  
** And we’re also poppin' off bout 30 playas up there, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Innocent playas whoz ass is all gonna die, along wit mah playas up in here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **DEAN  
** It don’t mean dat we throw away tha rule book n' stop actin like humans. I’m not gonna let dat demon bust a cap up in some sick, dope, innocent girl, whoz ass hasn’t even been laid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, look, if that’s how tha fuck you win wars, then I don’t wanna win.

 **SAM  
** Then what, biatch? What do our phat asses do, Dean?

 **DEAN  
** (Turns away fo' a moment, then back) I gots a plan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I’m not sayin itz a phat one. I’m not even sayin dat it’ll work. But it shizzle as a muthafucka beats cappin' a virgin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **SAM  
** Okay, so, what’s tha plan?

 **DEAN  
** Open tha doors, let dem all up in n' we fight.


	5. ACT FOUR

_OFFICE_

SAM strutts in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Git tha shiznit ta work?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** So?

 **SAM  
** So dis is insane.

 **RUBY  
** Yo ass win “understatement of tha year.”

 **DEAN  
** Look, I git it, you think-

 **RUBY  
** I don’t think… I know. It’s not gonna work. (Bitch standz up n' starts ta leave) So long, thugs.

 **SAM  
** So, you’re just gonna leave?

 **RUBY  
** Hey. I was gonna bust a cap up in mah dirty ass ta help you win. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I’m not gonna stand here n' peep you lose. (Walks closer ta SAM) And I’m pissed tha fuck off cuz I tried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I straight-up did yo, but clearly I bet on tha wack horse. (SAM say nothing) Do you mind lettin me out?

CUT TO: FRONT DOOR. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone uses a knife ta scratch away tha paint formin tha devil’s trap, n' then breaks tha salt line across tha doorway. RUBY strutts outside, where tha demons is waiting. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch draws her knife.

 **RUBY  
** I’m leaving. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck wants ta stop me son, biatch?

Da demons make way fo' RUBY ta pass. Da demon whoz ass possessed JENNA’s body smilez wackly.

 

**_INSIDE OFFICE_ **

SAM, DEAN, n' HENRIKSEN locked n loaded up in they positions at different spots up in tha building. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is up in tha main office, while DEAN n' HENRIKSEN is near outside doors.

 **DEAN  
** All set?

 **SAM  
** Yeah!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Ready!

 **DEAN  
** Let’s do this.

They break tha salt lines n' devil’s traps protectin tha doors yo. HENRIKSEN throws open a outside door fo' realz. At first, not a god damn thang happens yo, but then suddenly a thugged-out demon swings from tha doorway n' kicks at HENRIKSEN wit his Nikes. Demons run inside n' DEAN n' SAM blast fo' realz. A demon tacklez SAM ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One of tha demons pins HENRIKSEN against tha wall. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM fights hand-to-hand wit tha demon whoz ass tackled his muthafuckin ass yo. HENRIKSEN reaches fo' a gangbangin' flask from his thugged-out lil' pocket.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** God, I hope dis works.

HENRIKSEN opens tha flask n' splashes holy wata on tha demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude grabs his wild lil' freakadelic glock n' moves further down tha hallway yo. Dude n' DEAN each blast a thugged-out demon while back ta back.

 **DEAN  
** Go! Go! Go!

HENRIKSEN n' DEAN move up in opposite directions yo. HENRIKSEN swings at a thugged-out demon wit his bangin rifle up in a hallway n' SAM fights wit tha demons up in tha main crib. There is now nuff demons up in tha building.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY n' PHIL is on tha roof watchin as mo' demons run tha fuck into tha building.

 **NANCY  
** When dis is over, I’m gonna have so much sex. (PHIL looks at NANCY) But not wit you, biatch. We betta move.

 _INSIDE_ : DEAN fights demons up in a hallway.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY closes a thugged-out door ta tha buildin n' lines it wit salt.

 _INSIDE_ : SAM flings holy wata at demons up in tha main crib.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY n' PHIL line tha door n' windows wit salt.

 _INSIDE_ : SAM n' DEAN flin holy wata all up in tha demons. When they flasks is empty, tha demons gather round dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY n' PHIL take they salt bags n' run along tha building.

 _INSIDE_ : JENNA DEMON climbs over a thugged-out desk n' strutts towardz SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch stretches up a arm, which sendz SAM n' DEAN flyin against tha wall. They gasp up in pain n' peep each other n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** Henriksen, now!

CUT TO: Audio room yo. HENRIKSEN strugglez wit a thugged-out demon as tha pimpin' muthafucka tries ta play a tape yo. Dude manages ta turn it on n' SAM’s voice bustin lyrics a exorcizzle be reppin speakers all over tha crib. Da demons cover they ears.

 _INSIDE_ : SAM (from recording): Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii...

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY is linin a thugged-out door wit salt when a thugged-out demon bursts up tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. NANCY screams n' tha demon looks at her wit black eyes before he flees. PHIL grabs tha bag from NANCY n' finishes linin tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **SAM (from recording)  
** Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te, cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare vade, satana, inventor et magista omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis, humiliare sub potenti manu dei...

As tha exorcizzle continues ta air over tha loudspeakers, demons flail n' scream. JENNA reaches up ta cover her ears. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is still pinned ta tha wall. Demons pound against tha outside doors, tryin ta git out. Black smoke begins ta pour from tha demons’ grills. Da bodiez of tha possessed playas fall ta tha ground as tha smoke swirls round tha ceiling.

 **SAM (from recording)  
** Contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomini quem inferi tremunt ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, domine. exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare ut ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!

OFFICE: There be a explosion of light on tha ceiling, then every last muthafuckin thang goes still. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN slide down tha wall ta tha floor n' peep each other n' shit. They git ta they feet, groanin yo. HENRIKSEN strutts tha fuck into tha crib n' chucklez slightly as da thug wipes blood from his fuckin lip. DEAN shrugs. Da playas whoz ass had been possessed start ta git up. Da electricitizzle flickers back on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 

**_LATER_ **

**HENRIKSEN  
** I betta call in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Hell of a rap I won’t be telling.

 **SAM  
** So what tha fuck is you gonna tell them?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Da least wack lie I can come up wit up in tha next five minutes.

 **DEAN  
** Dope luck wit dis shit. Not ta heat you or anythang yo, but what tha fuck is you plannin ta do bout us?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** I’m gonna bust a cap up in you, biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam n' Dean Winchesta was up in tha chopper when it caught on fire. Nothang left. Can’t even identify dem wit dental records. (SAM smiles) Chill up in peace, muthafuckas.

SAM n' DEAN shake handz wit HENRIKSEN.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Now git outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **SAM  
** Yeah…

SAM n' DEAN leave as HENRIKSEN places a cold-ass lil call.

 

**_LATER_ **

A biatch strutts tha fuck into tha five-o station holdin a LITTLE GIRL by tha hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da LITTLE GIRL strutts up ta NANCY, whoz ass is sweepin tha main crib.

 **NANCY  
** Well hey there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Excuse mah dirty ass. I’m lookin fo' two thugs. They’re brothers.

HENRIKSEN is chillin on a thugged-out desk n' PHIL standin nearby lookin at a gangbangin' file.

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** One’s straight-up tall n' one’s straight-up cute.

 **NANCY  
** (Laughs) What’s yo' name, dopeie?

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Lilith. (Her eyes turn white)

PHIL n' NANCY realize dat tha LITTLE GIRL is LILITH THE DEMON yo. HENRIKSEN tries ta react but it’s too late. LILITH raises her hand n' white light fills tha crib yo. HENRIKSEN, NANCY n' PHIL scream.

 


	6. ACT FIVE

_OFFICE_

SAM strutts in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **DEAN  
** Git tha shiznit ta work?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN  
** So?

 **SAM  
** So dis is insane.

 **RUBY  
** Yo ass win “understatement of tha year.”

 **DEAN  
** Look, I git it, you think-

 **RUBY  
** I don’t think… I know. It’s not gonna work. (Bitch standz up n' starts ta leave) So long, thugs.

 **SAM  
** So, you’re just gonna leave?

 **RUBY  
** Hey. I was gonna bust a cap up in mah dirty ass ta help you win. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I’m not gonna stand here n' peep you lose. (Walks closer ta SAM) And I’m pissed tha fuck off cuz I tried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I straight-up did yo, but clearly I bet on tha wack horse. (SAM say nothing) Do you mind lettin me out?

CUT TO: FRONT DOOR. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone uses a knife ta scratch away tha paint formin tha devil’s trap, n' then breaks tha salt line across tha doorway. RUBY strutts outside, where tha demons is waiting. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch draws her knife.

 **RUBY  
** I’m leaving. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck wants ta stop me son, biatch?

Da demons make way fo' RUBY ta pass. Da demon whoz ass possessed JENNA’s body smilez wackly.

 

**_INSIDE OFFICE_ **

SAM, DEAN, n' HENRIKSEN locked n loaded up in they positions at different spots up in tha building. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM is up in tha main office, while DEAN n' HENRIKSEN is near outside doors.

 **DEAN  
** All set?

 **SAM  
** Yeah!

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Ready!

 **DEAN  
** Let’s do this.

They break tha salt lines n' devil’s traps protectin tha doors yo. HENRIKSEN throws open a outside door fo' realz. At first, not a god damn thang happens yo, but then suddenly a thugged-out demon swings from tha doorway n' kicks at HENRIKSEN wit his Nikes. Demons run inside n' DEAN n' SAM blast fo' realz. A demon tacklez SAM ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! One of tha demons pins HENRIKSEN against tha wall. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM fights hand-to-hand wit tha demon whoz ass tackled his muthafuckin ass yo. HENRIKSEN reaches fo' a gangbangin' flask from his thugged-out lil' pocket.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** God, I hope dis works.

HENRIKSEN opens tha flask n' splashes holy wata on tha demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude grabs his wild lil' freakadelic glock n' moves further down tha hallway yo. Dude n' DEAN each blast a thugged-out demon while back ta back.

 **DEAN  
** Go! Go! Go!

HENRIKSEN n' DEAN move up in opposite directions yo. HENRIKSEN swings at a thugged-out demon wit his bangin rifle up in a hallway n' SAM fights wit tha demons up in tha main crib. There is now nuff demons up in tha building.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY n' PHIL is on tha roof watchin as mo' demons run tha fuck into tha building.

 **NANCY  
** When dis is over, I’m gonna have so much sex. (PHIL looks at NANCY) But not wit you, biatch. We betta move.

 _INSIDE_ : DEAN fights demons up in a hallway.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY closes a thugged-out door ta tha buildin n' lines it wit salt.

 _INSIDE_ : SAM flings holy wata at demons up in tha main crib.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY n' PHIL line tha door n' windows wit salt.

 _INSIDE_ : SAM n' DEAN flin holy wata all up in tha demons. When they flasks is empty, tha demons gather round dem wild-ass muthafuckas.

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY n' PHIL take they salt bags n' run along tha building.

 _INSIDE_ : JENNA DEMON climbs over a thugged-out desk n' strutts towardz SAM. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch stretches up a arm, which sendz SAM n' DEAN flyin against tha wall. They gasp up in pain n' peep each other n' shit.

 **DEAN  
** Henriksen, now!

CUT TO: Audio room yo. HENRIKSEN strugglez wit a thugged-out demon as tha pimpin' muthafucka tries ta play a tape yo. Dude manages ta turn it on n' SAM’s voice bustin lyrics a exorcizzle be reppin speakers all over tha crib. Da demons cover they ears.

 _INSIDE_ : SAM (from recording): Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii...

 _OUTSIDE_ : NANCY is linin a thugged-out door wit salt when a thugged-out demon bursts up tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. NANCY screams n' tha demon looks at her wit black eyes before he flees. PHIL grabs tha bag from NANCY n' finishes linin tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **SAM (from recording)  
** Omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te, cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare vade, satana, inventor et magista omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis, humiliare sub potenti manu dei...

As tha exorcizzle continues ta air over tha loudspeakers, demons flail n' scream. JENNA reaches up ta cover her ears. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN is still pinned ta tha wall. Demons pound against tha outside doors, tryin ta git out. Black smoke begins ta pour from tha demons’ grills. Da bodiez of tha possessed playas fall ta tha ground as tha smoke swirls round tha ceiling.

 **SAM (from recording)  
** Contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomini quem inferi tremunt ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, domine. exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare ut ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!

OFFICE: There be a explosion of light on tha ceiling, then every last muthafuckin thang goes still. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM n' DEAN slide down tha wall ta tha floor n' peep each other n' shit. They git ta they feet, groanin yo. HENRIKSEN strutts tha fuck into tha crib n' chucklez slightly as da thug wipes blood from his fuckin lip. DEAN shrugs. Da playas whoz ass had been possessed start ta git up. Da electricitizzle flickers back on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 

**_LATER_ **

**HENRIKSEN  
** I betta call in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Hell of a rap I won’t be telling.

 **SAM  
** So what tha fuck is you gonna tell them?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Da least wack lie I can come up wit up in tha next five minutes.

 **DEAN  
** Dope luck wit dis shit. Not ta heat you or anythang yo, but what tha fuck is you plannin ta do bout us?

 **HENRIKSEN  
** I’m gonna bust a cap up in you, biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam n' Dean Winchesta was up in tha chopper when it caught on fire. Nothang left. Can’t even identify dem wit dental records. (SAM smiles) Chill up in peace, muthafuckas.

SAM n' DEAN shake handz wit HENRIKSEN.

 **HENRIKSEN  
** Now git outta here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **SAM  
** Yeah…

SAM n' DEAN leave as HENRIKSEN places a cold-ass lil call.

 

**_LATER_ **

A biatch strutts tha fuck into tha five-o station holdin a LITTLE GIRL by tha hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da LITTLE GIRL strutts up ta NANCY, whoz ass is sweepin tha main crib.

 **NANCY  
** Well hey there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho.

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Excuse mah dirty ass. I’m lookin fo' two thugs. They’re brothers.

HENRIKSEN is chillin on a thugged-out desk n' PHIL standin nearby lookin at a gangbangin' file.

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** One’s straight-up tall n' one’s straight-up cute.

 **NANCY  
** (Laughs) What’s yo' name, dopeie?

 **LITTLE GIRL  
** Lilith. (Her eyes turn white)

PHIL n' NANCY realize dat tha LITTLE GIRL is LILITH THE DEMON yo. HENRIKSEN tries ta react but it’s too late. LILITH raises her hand n' white light fills tha crib yo. HENRIKSEN, NANCY n' PHIL scream.

 


End file.
